Senseless Thoughts

Drift into my paradise.


Random Writings

Anything that I would like to write about.

In The Midst of Calm…

What has happened?


For months, I have been out of my real little world, trying to fit in to this crazy circle, trying to change who I really am… trying to be the opposite of how I knew myself to be and free myself from what I thought was prison… I was wrong.

I am an introvert trying to live an extrovert’s life and I thought I can. I thought my love for solitude was a lie which I have convinced myself to be true. But here I am… sitting alone on a bench… at the 50th floor of my block… staring at the moon and city lights… thinking… No. I won’t jump.

For the past weeks, I don’t feel like myself. I feel so detached and purposeless. I feel so down, short-tempered, and agitated. I was stressed, overfatigued, sad. One morning, I woke up and thought, “you are a waste of everything, useless and your life is pointless. Why are you even still breathing at this rate?” I carried a whole world of burden and fed my mind senseless ideas that wouldn’t even help me get out of this trap.


I know the answer as to why I have become like this… because I wasn’t who I was trying to be. What I thought was the prison, the cell that I left, was indeed my real home. And the world that I thought would be my home was a chaotic cage I will never, ever be able to understand and tolerate. I wasn’t ME.

So who am I, then? After all the adventures I did, why can’t I still find my purpose?

This is still a question I don’t have an answer to. I am at my most vulnerable. I have tried hard to fit in. I have lost most of the people I believed to be my friends. I am out of touch. I am LONELY. I am a single dot of darkness in a bright world.

And this… this is my escape. My words… my writings… This is the only thing that calms my soul and eases my pains. I miss solitude. I miss where I am supposed to be. I miss my unique world. I miss my little corner…

Thank you, Moon. For you have never left me during my troubled times…



The Best Laid Plans

So.. There is another ongoing Kult Gallery Art Exhibition called Choking Hazard in which destroyed and unused toys were recreated by artists to bring them back to life simply by using their imagination and creativity. And once again, different artists made the event successful by submitting their own entries.

This piece…

is Kenny’s. Remember my blog about Champagne Supernova, his first artwork displayed in the same gallery? Well, now, this is the second! It is called The Best Laid Plans!

The event started on 17 February, 2017 and will close on 18 March, 2017 so those who wanted to see the artworks will still have time to view them, and prolly buy them! 

Having Kenny’s piece on display is already overwhelming for both of us. Although it would still be better if someone would buy his art! It is a favorite during the opening of the event. I hope someone would take it! Help me pray for it, guys. 😊
– K

Champagne Supernova

Hi guys! This is the first time I am going to  post something for sale on my blog. 😊

My boyfriend was asked to make a painting for Kult Gallery‘s theme Power Records, 80’s music, last September-October. His painting was displayed for S$750.00 as suggested by the gallery’s staff.

This is our Champagne Supernova baby! A wonderful acrylic, gold vinyl painting with an oil-based supernova-inspired centre.

We thought that it was overpriced that’s why no one bought it during that period so we took it home. Honestly, I would like to keep the painting for myself! But he said that if someone would buy it, we would give it since the gallery also posted in online for sale and that he would just paint something else for me πŸ˜….

Price: S$400.00

So there, if you, or someone you know would be interested in my boyfriend’s first ever painting that was displayed in a gallery, feel free to leave a comment or send me an e-mail on my blog’s Connect section. Also, feel free to share this on your pages and timelines.

Thank you very much!

– K

Leaving Footprints: Thailand Part 2

Next Destination: Koh Phi Phi Islands, Krabi, Thailand

So the travel continued and by noon of the next day, we booked our ferry tickets from the hotel worth 600 THB per person inclusive of one way ticket to Koh Phi Phi and a minibus ride that would take us to Rassada Pier or Phuket Ferry Pier (it is actually cheaper than getting a taxi or a tuk-tuk to drive us there).

Weather was still sunny even though the forecast told us the opposite. Upon entering the ferry, a movie was about to start so we found good seats and relaxed. You know what the movie was? TITANIC. And we were about to conquer the sea. Just awesome. In the middle of the journey (travel time is two hours) it rained… yeah, just what the forecast said.

Upon arriving, we looked for our hotel which took us a lot of time because it was drizzling and we also got a little lost. The name of the hotel is Phi Phi Arboreal Resort and it was way up the hill to Viewpoint. (Please don’t ask me about the hotel, it was good but not good enough for what we have paid for. The view from the balcony was beautiful though.)

After a little rest, we roamed the streets and tried to get each turn familiar (which is quite difficult because there are a lot of intersections and shops and restaurants of the the same kind). We walked to the beachside where the real “night life” was and found ourselves hooked watching fire jugglers.

We didn’t stayed there to have a drink by the way because it was more expensive compared to the bars inside the little “city” of Koh Phi Phi. And I found out that this picture below is their kind of “bucket”.

We barhopped and stopped in this happy little bar called Kongsiam with an awesome live band playing (oh, the guy on vocals! 😍 ).

The next day, it was quite drizzling again and we went out a little late for brunch. We stopped by a Scuba Diving shop called Seafrog Diving Center for my short exam (since it was my first time while Kenny was already a certified rescue diver) for an early discovery dive tomorrow.

In the afternoon, we went out for island tour in Koh Phi Phi Leh, Monkey Island and Maya Bay (which we didn’t checked out because there was an additional fee to enter Maya Bay, 400 THB per person if I remember it right.)

It was fun snorkelling even though the fishes seem to love me a bit, I was poked quite a few times! The day ended with another barhopping and food sessions until we got tired and went back to our hotel to rest around 1am.

But…let me tell you about our dinner that night. I am telling you now, if you are looking for the best place to eat local Thai food, go to Papaya Restaurant! This one is the best!

This is their Curry Massaman which is one of their best sellers, it tastes really good you would want to ask for more!

And this is their Fried White Snapper with a very delicious sauce! Price? All cheap in less than 150 THB good for sharing!

Third day, we checked out early and left our bags in Seafrog Diving Center and set off to the waters for our two sessions of discovery dive. We were assisted by Jonathan Giafferi, our French diving instructor.

Unfortunately for my first dive, as we were having my demo of his instructions, I was bitten by a fish! That made me lose my focus. Jonathan saw me struggling with something on my feet and he saw the fish that was attacking me. He pulled me somewhere else and we continued our demo. He thought that the reason why the fish bit me a few times was that maybe I unintentionally bothered its nest of eggs. The photo shows three but it wasn’t just three. I had five bites! 😭

Anyway, the dive was fun! Initially, I had a hard time breathing through my mouth plus I don’t like the taste of the water, it dried my oral mucosa. I focused on my ears’ pressure, I tried to remember all the instructions and after a few minutes, I am πŸ‘Œ!

The second dive was even more wonderful! The fishes, corals, oh! Nature has beautifully crafted the little masterpieces underwater! As much as I would like to explore more, our oxygen is limited and we had to return before we even finished what we have left. It was enjoyable and exciting and lovely! And guess what, I found Nemo and Dory! So you don’t have to look for them. 😁 

Tadah! I have a certificate that I survived Scuba Diving! πŸ˜‚πŸ‘ŒπŸ‘ŠπŸ‘πŸ“„

That ends our Koh Phi Phi Islands trip. After diving, we rode the ferry back to Phuket to have a stroll in Phuket Old Town. Follow the next blog! πŸ˜†

– K

Opinion on: PH SONA 2016

The most awaited State of the Nation Address by the President of the Philippines, Rodrigo R. Duterte happened this afternoon, 25th of July year 2016, 3:15pm at the Plenary Hall of Batasang Pambasa Complex in Batasan Hills, Quezon City. SONA is an annual address by the President made public for every Filipino to hear all the summarized accomplishments made by the government, the plans for the coming months and the programmes to be held for the people.

And this is Pres. Rodrigo Duterte‘s first ever SONA. He was inaugurated last June 30, 2016 as the 16th President of the Republic of the Philippines.

For all State of the Nation Addresses that I have watched, this hooked my complete attention and my interest because of these reasons:

1. He is my President. I have definitely argued with a lot of people as to why they should vote for him. I travelled a long way queued at the Philippine Embassy here in Singapore just to register for absentee voting.

2. Accomplishments. In less than a month, Tatay Digong (as most DavaoeΓ±os call him) has done a lot to combat crime rates, illegal drugs, mining, he has talked with China, with NPA and rebels, he has asked for improvement of NAIA issues, MRT issues, traffic, on the process of upgrading internet connection and emergency hotlines, and the government itself, of course with the help of the people he trusted and appointed to do the job.

3. Plans and Promises. Yes. We all had our own share of mistrust and disgust with the government for the past years because of their broken promises and very unsatisfactory service for the poor. And yes, Tatay Digong PROMISED. But this time around, I am not enveloped by disappointment, I am rather turned into a hopeful, ordinary citizen that Philippines will greatly improve in a short period of time.

Click here to watch the complete coverage of the SONA 2016 by ABS-CBN. 

My description of the 2016 State of the Nation Address:

Simple. People who attended were in their business attires instead of designer gowns and FilipiΓ±anas because as he said, SONA is not a “fashion show”.

Sincere. He even doesn’t want to read his script. And his words come from the heart, with his love for his country and his love for God.

Powerful. He delivered it with so much strength that you have no choice but to surrender, follow and support him in his campaign.

Hilarious. A different kind of ambience for a SONA. He has always been funny and he is such a joker that he made the crowd laugh out loud and remove the tension.

Positive. He pointed out that dwelling in the past is not the way. Instead, we have to look forward and move on.

And most of all,

Confident. That during his term, it will indeed be a CLEAN GOVERNMENT.

All we need now is to join hands with him to finally obtain the CHANGE  that we have longed for. The Promise of Change has started. But this won’t be successful without our help. Each one of  us has roles to play to be able to achieve our country’s momentum. He is indeed confidently a man of steel with a heart. What do you feel about the SONA 2016?


– K

A Dad or a Father?

You would probably agree that dad and father means exactly the same. A Dad is a Father and a Father is a Dad. Simple. Right? …. Or maybe not. Because for me, yes, technically and literally speaking, they are the same thing but taking a look at a deeper level, they are totally different. For me.

If you have watched the movie Daddy’s Home, you would better understand what I’m saying here. It is a story about a man who married (yeah, I think they got married…or not) a woman with two kids and was trying his best to get the children to love him as their own daddy. Then suddenly, the biological father came home and tried to win his family back. The competition on proving who should rightfully be called as the “head of the family” between the two men grew.. And I don’t want to tell you how it ended, you better watch it if you haven’t yet.


Photo: Daddy’s Home movie

Where am I going? The difference is this: A DAD, for me, is the person who stood by you, who provided all your needs and who claimed all the responsibility of protecting you, guiding you, and raising you as his child, whether you are related by blood or not.

While a FATHER, is nothing but the reason for your existence (in short, the sperm donor).

It is Father’s Day soon enough. And I salute all fathers who have been real dads to their kids.

I don’t have a dad. I had a father. But that doesn’t mean he was never a dad to me. He was. He just lost his way. And that prevented him from becoming a dad to me in the present. But then again, I was daddy’s girl for as long as I can remember. And no matter how I deny, he is still my father, the reason for my existence. I owe him my life.

And in defense of those fathers who have lost their ways (whether they wanted to or they had no choice), I tell you people that no matter how bad your father has become, no matter how from a “dad” he got demoted to just a “father”, no matter how he has never been a dad to you since the beginning, he is still your blood. And forever he will be. And forever you owe him your life. Be grateful to him, no matter how pained and angry you are, even just for a day, be thankful for a father who has given you life in this beautiful world.

Happy Father’s Day to all Dads and Fathers out there! I wish you all good health and longer lives… and clearer minds… and more loving hearts. 😊

– K

Perks of Dating an Older Dude

Let me get straight to the point. Age doesn’t matter they say… and while it doesn’t, somehow… IT DOES (not in a negative connotation though).

I’ve been into relationships with guys a bit younger than me, with the same age as mine, and with those who are a bit older… but this time I tried dating a guy a decade older than me.

1. You will be treated as a baby.
Girls have their real soft side and sometimes wanted “some” care and attention which you can get from an older dude every single time you are together compared when you are currently dating a guy younger than you in which you are actually the more matured one and you have to “baby” him instead.

2. And talking about maturity…
He knows what you are up to, what you need, what you want, what you mean to say, what you think, what you’ve experienced, what you might ask for someday… you know, part of the “been-there-done-that” thing.

3. You are with a good and smart company.
Since he is quite advanced with age, he’s definitely done a lot of things and went through tons of mistakes. Experience wise, he has it. He knows a lot… A LOT. There’s much to learn from him about everything, life, love, places, politics… anything. I swear.

4. He is absolutely sincere and open with his emotions.
When he says it, he means it. He’s not the type of guy who would go around the bush and please you with words. He tells you what he feels, he wants you, he’s crazy for you, especially when he’s serious about you. He tells you when he’s  mad, angry or disappointed, no need to ask. And he still keeps his cool (because he probably took anger management thingy 😂 ) and he doesn’t keep his grudges for too long. Everything must be talked about at once.

5. You have a father, a brother, a drinking buddy, a teacher, a bestfriend in one body.
Yes, he does the “sermon” when you did something wrong and he protects you like a brother would do. When you’re down and sad, expect either a cuddle or a bottle of beer (whichever you prefer). He tells you things you don’t want to learn but you will because you have no choice and he will watch over you. And the best thing? You can open up just anything. He will absolutely listen to you.

6. Futuristic.
You want someone who thinks about tomorrow but doesn’t worry about tomorrow? Get an older dude. Savings, investments, plans, business, he knows it, he has it. And when you think about settling down, he’s the guy. He probably had the time of his single life and he would definitely want a family for himself. So stick to him and if he is damn serious about you, he’ll put a ring on it.

So age doesn’t matter (who cares if he’s a decade older?) but somehow it does… When you think about it, older dudes have all that you want and all that you need (attention, care, learnings, security, assurance, etc.) so why not go for someone who makes you feel you can have everything without having to worry, right? Just choose the right guy and don’t go for just anyone out there.


This experience that I took is one of those I consider good risks. Sometimes, you have to get out of your shell and explore the world and do things you haven’t done. 😁 ‘Bout you?

– K

When You See It


What do you see in this picture?

If you’ll ask me, I see LIFE playing. By the time you step on the pedals, time ticks and your life starts moving. If you stop because you are tired or you think you’re going nowhere, or you think you’re going the wrong way, the clock never stops ticking but you’ll be stuck from where you stopped. You can always go back to the place where you started. But the roads you passed before won’t change. It would be easy going back, hassle free, and you perfectly know the way. But by the time you reached that old place where you began, everyone you met there is gone, the place is the same but only the memories were left.

So whenever you get tired of moving and stepping on the pedals, stop for just one moment, breathe, rest for a while, and get challenged by the next roads awaiting you ahead. Because in front of you, there are more people to meet, new places to see, new adventure to behold and new memories to make. Everything ahead can’t be predicted but that’s how our life is. So we better look forward and see what lies a few blocks away, get excited and whenever humps trick us and get us outbalanced, hold tight and step harder. Just fight. The humps and rocks would soon end. Patience and trust in yourself is needed during these times. Don’t lose them. And then maybe… just maybe… you’ll bump into someone who would make your ride a more meaningful one and join you with the journey you’ve been taking.

So, let me ask you… what do you see?

– K

To New Beginnings?


Since the start of the year, I thought about summarizing each month in one word.

January is CHALLENGE
February is BLESSINGS
March is FUN

And at the end of March, I am already eagerly waiting for April’s surprise for me. Then came April Fool’s Day, a very memorable day for me (kinda depressing to still have this date on the calendar).

So I had this idea that maybe I can drink and have a good time at home with my Prosecco. This month, April, has been quite unfriendly and I don’t know how to deal with the hostility it showed me so I can’t say this month is kind of motivating or daring or something that makes me wanna fight and face it like I can tame it. Some of the days are fun and too enjoyable to be ignored and taken for granted as I make my summary. So I am still thinking and waiting for this month to end… contemplating very well on what weighed the more, the positive side, or the negative side.

And at the end of this month, I am foreseeing a not so good April to me…

My bestfriend’s getting married.


Toast! 😪

– K

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