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Senseless Thoughts

Drift into my paradise.

Month

April 2016

To New Beginnings?

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Since the start of the year, I thought about summarizing each month in one word.

January is CHALLENGE
February is BLESSINGS
March is FUN

And at the end of March, I am already eagerly waiting for April’s surprise for me. Then came April Fool’s Day, a very memorable day for me (kinda depressing to still have this date on the calendar).

So I had this idea that maybe I can drink and have a good time at home with my Prosecco. This month, April, has been quite unfriendly and I don’t know how to deal with the hostility it showed me so I can’t say this month is kind of motivating or daring or something that makes me wanna fight and face it like I can tame it. Some of the days are fun and too enjoyable to be ignored and taken for granted as I make my summary. So I am still thinking and waiting for this month to end… contemplating very well on what weighed the more, the positive side, or the negative side.

And at the end of this month, I am foreseeing a not so good April to me…

My bestfriend’s getting married.

Congratulations!

Toast! 😪

– K

A Taste of HOME

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The majority of the people who would see this blog is absolutely from different parts of the world so let me introduce to you one of the best Filipino dishes that you may try when you, by any chance, found a simple Filipino restaurant, “turo-turo” or “carinderia”  as we call it, in your own countries or when you travel to the Philippines. You can definitely find one “kainan” (eatery) that sells this anywhere in our country.

Bulalo (Beef Marrow Stew) is a beef soup dish which originated from Southern Luzon. They use beef shank and beef bone marrow as its main ingredient and the rest depends on the person cooking it. They can add cabbage, or mustard, or sweet corn to add color to the soup. It is cooked until most of the fats have melted in the clear broth and do you want to know why this dish is so special? It is because of the yummiest part… The best part of it is the marrow. 👌

So go ye and find a restaurant that serves authentic Filipino dish and get a taste of the best of the Philippines and enjoy being a Filipino for a moment and ignore diet and cholesterol content just because, most of the time, we people restrict the best things in life. It’s okay to satisfy our cravings once in a while, you know.

I had a big bowl of it last night, I travelled a good distance to the Filipino Cuisine stall in a food court at Jurong MRT, which I think is the only place that sells this here in Singapore, just to get a sip of this soup and I felt like I am back home. I don’t care about the fats. I can remove them from my body anytime I want to. For that moment, I only wanted to feel the Filipino blood in me still running strong and alive. 😁 And bulalo gave me the kick I needed!

– K

Cooling Down for Summer

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What’s best during summer? Cold foods!

The weather is too humid and hot so why not enjoy something that will cool your senses and relieve the warm feeling?

LLAOLLAO, one of the best and most queued up dessert place, is the solution! Dig in to some soothing, chilling yogurt and fruit combination topped with your choice of sauce and sprinkles. 👍👌

Yum!

Not an Ordinary Sushi Roll

I was at the verge of breaking down. I chose to have some alone time instead of going out for a date. So he called and asked me why I cancelled the meet up. I said I don’t want to be with anybody right now. I am not in a good state.

I went to the Filipino Comedy Bar named Clowns N Cronies in Chinatown because the place feels like home. But it feels like home so much that it made me tear up, drinking beer alone like there was no tomorrow. I need a new drinking buddy but not at that moment. I wanna stop pretending from everybody that I am okay. So there. The hosts tried to cheer me up too.

The door of the bar opened, and tadah! K2 came in, which left my mouth half-open and my eyes fiercely looking at him.

“What are you doing here?”

“Picking you up,” he answered.

“I said I want to be alone, right?”

“You’ve had your time alone, now it’s time for me to wrap you up, you little sad thing. I am going to wrap you up in a blanket and make you watch your favorite movies, and feed you chocolates or ice cream and give you a tight hug, and then you will be happy little sushi roll!”

“You saw that video on Facebook?” (And I was referring to the video above which was shared by a page on Facebook. I looked it up on Youtube because I don’t have a clue where to find it on Facebook.)

“Yup, I think I have to find a way to make you smile again that’s why.”

I laughed. At my almost-shattered state, he glued me up quickly to stop me from breaking.

Unexpectedly, K2 makes me believe that superheroes really exist. 🙂

– K

Midnight Thoughts

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And here comes another wave of uneasiness. Not the usual feeling I feel whenever overthinking strikes. It is something inexplicable.

It’s like I don’t feel anything. It is like I am numb but I know I should be feeling something. Sad at least, but no. I don’t know why. I can’t weigh my emotions right now. And even if I can talk to someone about it, I wouldn’t know how to describe it.

I had too much sweets today, maybe that’s it. That’s the cause of it. And coffee. If only K‘s here (not me, but another K… hmm, let me name him K2), he would push me to look at the brighter side and stop overthinking and calm myself to avoid getting stressed again and avoid palpitations. But he’s not. So yeah, I have to push myself for the moment.

Goodnight.

Sorry for this non sense. #releasingagain

– K

Little Girl

T’was again the third of the fourth month
He has never ever celebrated with her.
He is too far away to even blow
The candle on the cupcake she prepared.

When she was already aware
That he was living far, far away,
She already can’t recall
The last time he was with her.

Still she prepares cupcakes and candles
And calls him to say the warmest love
How she was the one blowing out
And wishing he’d soon be back.

Many years passed and he didn’t showed
Too many years and all she had known
That his presence is slowly going away
And he drift off and maybe, forgot about her.

This little girl who longed to be with him,
This little girl cried herself to sleep.
This little girl grew up to be a tough one
‘Cause she has no one to protect her from harm.

As strong as she can be, she fought.
The battles ahead she can easily win.
And nobody dared to make her cry
Because her power lies within her smile.

But every third of the fourth month,
She’d go to the church to thank God
For all His blessings and all His guidance
That she still manages to live her life.

During those times, she’ll lose the smile
And you can see the tears in her eyes.
It was again the time to blow out the candle.
But she felt like she had blown him away.

She can’t control and tears rolled down.
And she has no hanky, she has no one.
For a day she was lost, she can’t find
The half of herself was already gone.

As much as she wants to stop herself
From thinking and crying once a year
There’s nothing she can do, she is still
Waiting for him, she’s still that little girl.

And for the years to come and more of the third,
And more of the fourth month to pass.
She will still go to church and thank God
And pray for him wherever he was.

At twenty-five, she is still lost.
She still can’t find herself.
Once a year all she wish,
Was her heart to be at peace.

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“A father holds his daughter’s hand for a short while, but holds her heart forever.”

Walk With Yourself

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Earphones on, music turned on so loud with your favorite songs in your playlist, Chucks on the move, denim shorts ready to go, a comfy shirt, and backpack… what could be better than taking a walk alone and getting lost in the tune coming in your ears combined with lots of thoughts and ideas coming in your head like there is no next time being with solitude and you simply have to savor the moment of being far from the noise of the world and just being with the symphony of your own soul? 🚶🍃🍂

Sometimes, you have to take walks and be yourself and just be amazing and feel wonderful because you will only appreciate yourself when you stop comparing yourself from the other homo sapiens out there eager to ruin your inner peace. Be one with your soul and love YOU. Just love being YOU.

– K

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