Everyone of us have that one special person whom we treat like a sibling more than, sometimes, our very own blood. They are our superheroes and knights in shining armors whenever we are trapped in some unpleasant circumstances. They are our happy and sanity pill when we are down and at the verge of being crazy. They are our best enemies when we collide, but they have half of our heart that whatever we feel, no matter how we fake things, how we pretend we’re okay, they just know… they just feel it. So if you have that one bestfriend, keep them. Keep them before you lose half of your heart.

This is a letter to you, my dear bestfriend who fell apart with me as I crashed down, broken. And unfortunately, we were both too shattered to help each other glue the pieces.

Dear Partner,

A long time ago, you held my hand and saved me from misery, not even knowing why you did that. And I did the same for you and I know why I did that. We had too much ups and downs. We had overly funny moments together, we had lazy days, we had hard fights. We spit out words that are way below the belt but we end up forgiving each other. We end up still caring and being the best we can be for each other. Long gone… those days. I miss them.

Thank you, for being my Prince on a white horse holding a sword, for you confronted those evil people who stepped down on me and saved me from their mean deeds. Thank you for giving me such importance that you loved me more than anyone else, more than yourself. Thank you for being the clown that keeps me happy whenever I forget to smile. Thank you for being my handkerchief whenever I needed to cry. Thank you for those advices, you did a good job becoming a brother to me. Thank you for reminding me that there are still good things when I see everything in black. Thank you for embracing my silliness, my flaws, my crazy and my annoying sides. I can’t thank you enough for all that you did for me. Words wouldn’t be enough. But thank you for all the simple things, all the food we shared together, all the hardships that made us strong, all the challenges that we conquered, all the pain and mistakes that made us realize we are both human, imperfect yet loving. Thank you for being strong when I am weak. Because of you, I found myself climbing up the walls so I can be stronger for you, so when you are weak, I’ll be your strength… But then, I ended up too strong, too strong that my powers went the wrong way…

Sorry, for I turned into a beast… a monster you wouldn’t imagine I would be. I turned into someone too different from the person you once knew. Those pains and hatred from the very beginning of my life you knew so well ate me up. The mistakes that surrounded me, us, those that I can hardly accept woke up the sleeping dragon inside me. And I admit, I am just human, fighting hard to kill this unforgiving beast that I have become. Sorry for the pain I caused you. Sorry for the words I didn’t mean to say, I shouldn’t have said, and I could’ve said but chose not to. Sorry for making things difficult for you because I was hurt. Sorry for I can’t mend my pieces so I can help you mend yours. Sorry because now I am too strong that I forgot that you were my strength back then. And sorry for being so strong that I wanted you to be stronger than me, I want you to compete with me, not understanding that now you are the one who needed me because you are weak. Sorry for being narrow-minded. Sorry for telling you things too hard for you to swallow just because I wanted to make you feel what I am feeling. I was wrong. Sorry for being mean while you kept on extending your patience just to make me realize things… But now, it’s too late. Is it? Is it too late now to say sorry?

I love you, always and forever. Then ’til now. I will love you for the rest of my life. Because you were really my other half. I found my soulmate but I guess I have to let time decide for us. I will always be your Partner. No matter how far I go, no matter how long it takes, even if communication dies, I will always be here, fixing the little shards so that when we meet again, I will be as whole as I was before.

Goodbye is never always an ending. It is a for-the-meantime-farewell for our own betterment. It means that we have to take separate paths to let each other heal from all wounds and lead a new life so when our ways cross again, we have a lot of stories in store for us to talk about. The learnings, the new experiences, we could share together again. If time does not permit that we meet again, I know that we will both be better people for those we are about to meet. Friendship never ends in one goodbye. We are like balls, we fall down to the ground so that we could bounce up high but still, we will go back to where we belong.

I will miss you.

Always,
PUSA

image

And just like that. I lost my other half. Don’t let yours be gone. Take care of ’em.

– K

Advertisements