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Senseless Thoughts

Drift into my paradise.

Month

January 2016

The End of a Story That Never Began

If you have read my blog about Revelations and Longings Part 1 and Part 2, I guess, I have to post the continuation now… the final chapter. Too early for the finale, right? But it has to end properly. AND NOW.

This is the closure to a mutual (but complicated) understanding that was never opened up to become a real relationship (yes, conclusion on my introduction).

How did that happen?

There are feelings better left unsaid. And when we try to open them up (just try), we’re screwed because automatically, expectations will follow. That’s what happened to me… to us.

So yeah, we got into twists and turns without even holding each other’s hand yet, just trying to step together and then everything fell into a maze we just can’t escape. What worried me is that, I am becoming the opposite of who I am and I don’t like it that I have to become worse than who I already was just because of a feeling I longed to feel. Mind over emotions has always been my motto. And I don’t want to enter into something unsure, I am old enough to know what’s right from wrong. He’s young, immature, and unstable…. And I like him. But I am distant. And I am still mending a broken heart. And he makes me happy. But we can’t be together.

So we talked. And I told him what he should do. He agreed. He said, “Yeah, maybe I have to focus first. Maybe, just maybe, someday, when we’re still both available, and meet each other again, maybe we could be… US.”

I answered, “Don’t you look forward to what is unsure. Don’t expect that there will be a day for us to have our own time. It might hurt you, both of us. That should not be your goal. Maybe it is better if you just don’t think about us. Focus on you. Focus on your present.”

He nodded. He held my hand, leaned his head on my shoulder (both for the first time in forever). “Sorry, I have a short shoulder,” I said. He smiled and answered, “Yeah I noticed, but it’s okay.”

We sat there, pressed each other’s palm, and let the time pass until I have to go. I bid goodbye, he walked me through the street and hugged me for the last time. We parted ways. And became, once again, strangers.

I looked back for the last time, met his gaze, we both smiled, sadness in his eyes, I waved my hand, and turned my back away from him. Until we meet again, boss.

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Feelings are there to guide us what to do. They are not there to make us follow a path we don’t intend to go. I quote the famous Rich Dad’s words, DON’T THINK WITH YOUR EMOTIONS. USE YOUR EMOTIONS TO THINK. And it is applicable to every situation we encounter. We must be the master of our own feelings and not slaves. So when you think your emotions will damage yourself, your identity, your being a good person, your being wise, take control. You have the power over it. Use it.

– K

Taking Down Notes

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Wherever you go, don’t you ever forget your phone or your DSLR or digicam so you can take the memories of your travel from your eyes, to your brain, to your hand ready for you to see all over again and for everyone else to see as well. Just remember to experience them (the events, the place, the things) not just take pictures of them for the sake of posting (oh, God, social networking sites have become people’s world, you know).

But… wherever you go, I suggest that you MUST not forget to bring a pen (a working pen, please) and a notebook… a journal for that matter.

WHAT FOR?

1. To be able to take note of what you did, how you felt, how it affected you, when it happened, why it happened.

2. To be able to save a memory you might forget in the long run that pictures (or even your brain can’t bring back to life.

3. To express the feelings you suppress because sometimes, not all of your emotions come out, you don’t show them all.

4. To write down the words you can never say, or the things you wanted to say but chose not to let them out of your mouth.

5. Journals act as shock absorbers, too (for anger, guilt, regret, confusion, happiness, elation, extreme feelings you might encounter along the way).

6. Lastly, to be able to narrate everything from the beginning ’til the end, with complete details, filled with feelings, written in a manner no one else does but you and your mind, the way you wanted it, the way you saw it, and the way you remember it. The story is a complete package of you, the place, the people, and your experiences, nothing less.

So take time to write down notes as long as you are free to do it. Don’t rush writing. It is your travel story. Make it good. Make it the best for you and for others, too. 😉

– K

PH: A Little of Baguio City

The City of Pines… Baguio City, Philippines isn’t just an ordinary city. It is a city built in the middle of the forests, in between mountains, on top of the world (where the cold never bothered the people anyway 😂). But wait, let me set some expectations for you: First, you have to go through a long, zigzag road, and conquer all mountains hiding the beauty of it. Second, it would be a giddying, dizzying trip as long as six hours of left and right, up and down (depending on where you’re coming from), so make sure you take antiemetics or anticholinergics prior to your travel (and plastic bags too, just in case). And lastly, you must prepare yourself (your mind, your heart and your soul) for some freakin’ steep, frightening, not so wide city roads you’ve never encountered anywhere (but don’t worry, the drivers are experts… and the wheels too). 👍

I went there with my bestfriend Maye and my backpack for the reason that I only wanted to experience a cold city day which I never got to experience in Manila. So here, I’ll share a little bit of Baguio to you guys.

We greeted sunshine at the Pink Sisters’ Convent and Chapel. Visit here, take a few minutes to pray, write your petitions, and you prayers will be answered. One of the best places to have a heart-to-heart talk with God, so peaceful and solemn.

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Next stop was at Baguio Botanical Garden where you can try out some Ifugao native clothes for a small fee and you can take unlimited shots. Never miss the chance to be a native in a short period of time.

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Get lost in the length of pine trees just waiting to engulf you and bring you to the wilderness. Are we out of the woods?

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Cool green and blue in front of you, how relaxing is that? At Mines View, you are on top of the world. You can also buy  some plants and orchids at the entrance, take pictures while riding a horse or sitting beside a very large, kind dog for cheap prices.

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Swanboat at Burnham Park is one you can’t ignore. For a cheap amount you can either choose a de-pedal or a de-sagwan (pedal or paddle 😁) swanboat and roam around the lake for 30 minutes. Both kinds are tiring but too enjoyable, just be careful for you might end up like a bumpboat if you don’t know how to drive it along the waters. It was fun getting bumped by other boats, laugh together, and tease each other.

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One day isn’t enough. There are a lot more to see and experience in Baguio, unfortunately for me, I only alotted a day for it and now I am regretting. But of course, the day ends with a wonderful sunset… which closed my short travel to the City of Pines but I swear, I’ll come back and experience the rest of Baguio.

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I love the cool weather in a city hidden behind the mountains… I’m coming back for you Strawberry Capital.

– K

Appreciating Wild Flowers

Roses, tulips, daisies, they are the common flowers we love and appreciate. And most of the time we ignore the simplest ones.

Whether wild or grown, flowers are always beautiful. So I collected a few snapshots of wild flowers I saw along my way to at least give them the appreciation they never had.

As bright as the sun.

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He loves me, he loves me not.

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Are you really a flower? Been staying away from you when I was a kid because you look like a… nevermind, you are a pretty little flower.

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Open up now, don’t be shy.

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Snow or flower?

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The flower bomb. I used to pop this flower to my friends’ faces. Now, I learned, it doesn’t deserve to be treated that way.

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They are all beautiful right? 🌸

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